December 10, 2003

This month has been a time of change and experience. Every month, I expect to things to settle into a routine, but this month has kept up the rule of each month being more exciting than the last. One reason is that Ramadan was this month. I have also been getting to know more people in Egypt.

I am still learning the language in Egypt... actually languages. I am learning Arabic, and English in Egyptian culture. The latest word I have learned is proper use of the words "girl" and "woman" in Egypt. An unmarried Egyptian woman in Egypt, is referred to as a "girl". This is the case for almost any age, including their 20's and 30's. In the US, calling a woman a girl, after about age 18 (or even younger) is considered disrespectful, or an insult. In Egypt the opposite is true. I have offended at least one woman in Egypt by calling her a woman (in English). When I explained the American cultural reason for my mistake, she explained that the word "woman" brings an image of being old, and that she hoped to be a "girl" for a long time. This belief has been followed by every Egyptian woman I have talked to, and they are shocked to hear that many women in the US are insulted to be called a "girl".

Fortunately, this month was also a time for me to finally make my apartment more of a home for me. I had two days holiday from my teach in Minya for the end of Ramadan (coincidently this year these two days fell exactly during Thanksgiving in the US). I used some of this time to move furniture. I brought my desk out of my bedroom, and made an office area in the main room. I moved a small two drawer cabinet next to my desk, and had a nice setup for my computer. I moved the furniture in the living room to make space for this. Everything was complete… except I needed my phone to be moved to the office. Unfortunately, there is only one phone jack in my apartment, and it is in the bedroom. I could make this work if I could only find a long enough phone cord. I measured that 15 meters should be long enough. This would be easy for me to find Seattle. I could go to Radio Shack, Fred Meyers, Wal-Mart, or several other places. There is Radio Shack in Egypt, and there are stores like Fred Meyer in Cairo as well, but I did not want to make a long taxi or subway trip just for a phone cord, so I decided to find a local neighborhood store. The one question is, "Where would I go to buy a phone cord in Egypt?"

Cairo is full of small shops, that are often only the size of a small room. These shops are very diverse, and could sell, juice, groceries, meat, fish, fast food, or used radiators. What type of store would a phone cord be classified as? I have seen many phone stores, but they are for cell phones, calling cards, and cell phone accessories. Some office supply stores, and even a couple pharmacies sell a couple phones, but none of them I visited had phone cords. I walked for about an hour Monday night. I finished work at 10pm, and did not have dinner yet. I traveled down roads that I have need been on, and ones I did not even know existed. Finally I found a cable and wire store. Television cables, electric cords, and yes… phone cords! I used my broken Arabic to try to get a 15 meter cord, but had to settle for a 10 meter cord, and a 5 meter extension. It was now 11pm, but my successful mission made me forget my hunger, and I celebrated by buying a fresh unsweetened grapefruit juice from a local juice stand. Egyptians still can not understand me drinking unsweetened grapefruit juice, but neither can most Americans.

Ramadan is one of the most important times of the year for Muslims. You can find good information on Ramadan, its traditions and history, on the internet and in other reference sources, so I will not go into details. I will give a brief summary, and then describe observations and experiences that you will not find in other reference sources. My work assignments have kept me in contact mostly with Egypt’s Christian minority, so I do not have much direct experience with celebrating Ramadan. Ramadan takes place for approximately 4 weeks, and is based on the lunar calendar, so the time it is celebrated changes each year. During Ramadan, Muslims do not eat, drink, or smoke from sunrise to sunset. This also includes their own saliva, so very observant Muslims will spit rather than swallow their saliva. Sunset is followed by a breaking of the fast meal called the Iftar. Usually this meal is celebrated by families, but will also be celebrated by schools and businesses during Ramadan. Christians can be invited to join an Iftar, and often do attend. This is the case when Christians have close Muslim friends, or when a mixed school or business celebrates the Iftar. This can also be the case even when a Muslim sees someone walking around after sunset, as it was with my only Iftar invitation.

I enjoyed being in Egypt during Ramadan. The only problem I had was adjusting to the changes in schedule. Since Muslims (90% of Egypt’s population) do not eat or drink during the day, the day is very slow. Schools are on reduced schedules, and many shops are closed. Also as expected, people are a little grumpy towards the end of the day. Imagine not having coffee, water, or anything to eat after breakfast. This is made much worse if you are a smoker, and can’t have a cigarette. This means that people do most of their "living" at night. All the stores are open until at least midnight, and the streets are crowded. Imagine going to get your hair cut at midnight. I did most of my grocery shopping after 11pm, but then for people who knew me in the US, this is really nothing new for me.

Ramadan is part of the whole Egyptian culture. Buildings are decorated in Ramadan lights (we call them Christmas lights, and hang them up in December). Lanterns are hanging everywhere. Most importantly, the roads are almost impassable at about 4pm. This is because everyone is trying to get home in time for the breaking of the fast at sunset. By 5pm, the roads are deserted. Everyone, both Muslim and Christian, is at home. My teaching schedule was changed during Ramadan for this reason. All of my students in Mina are Christian, so I had to ask them why. They do not fast during the day, but informed me that it is Egyptian tradition to celebrate the breaking of the fast meal with their families just like their Muslim neighbors. We have the same thing in America with many people celebrating Easter and Christmas with their families, even if they are not celebrating them as Christian holidays.

Since the Evangelical Seminary did not change schedule during Ramadan, my Monday evening work schedule of 5pm to 10pm has me walking through the streets of Cairo during the time people were mostly home with their families. One day I was a little late and started my walk at the end of the 4pm travel hour. The few people still on the streets were rushing home, or preparing to celebrate the breaking of the fast alone in their shops, so they can be ready for potential customers after the meal. Since I was late, I was rushing through the streets, in an attempt to cut the 20 minute walk down to 15 minutes. Suddenly, I heard "Americany!" behind me. I turned to see a shop keeping in a small, somewhat rundown, shop getting ready to eat. He then gestured towards his mouth, in the universal sign for "eat". This man saw a foreign visitor (many Egyptians assume all foreign visitors are American, often incorrectly), and following the Egyptian hospitality I have gotten to know since I arrive, he invited me to share his food and break the fast with him. I politely declined and pointed to my watch in an attempt to show the universal sign for "I’m late for work".

Since I work until 10pm on Mondays, I would walk home through the peak of the celebrations. Stores that were closed all day, were now opened. Children were playing with fireworks. Cafes were filled with men smoking shisha and drinking tea, while watching WWE wrestlers fight each other somewhere in America. Loud music would be played from most of the shops. People looked happy. One time while I was on my way home from tutoring at the orphanage, I walked past a man talking a break in front of the auto parts store he worked in. He said, "hello", so I responded hello back and shook his hand in greeting. Immediately he brought another chair over, and motioned for me to sit down. I did, and he then bought me tea from the neighboring café. It turns out that "hello" was the only English this man knew, so we attempted in Arabic to exchange greetings and have a basic conversation of what we like and dislike. Fortunately a better English speaker joined us and helped translate. This would not be unusual at any time in Egypt, but it is especially true that people are very generous and friendly during Ramadan.

People and relationships are a very important part of Egyptian culture. American style supermarkets are becoming more popular in Egypt, but most Egyptians still do most of their shopping at small neighborhood shops. At each of these shops, the people who work their usually know and have a relationship with the customers. This can be a culturally rewarding experience, yet also a tiring and time consuming experience when added to a full work day and other time requirements. Here is an example of what a trip home from work Monday nights may consist of:

1) Lock up the library at the Evangelical Seminary. I will usually talk for a minute with Bolos (Paul in Arabic), who works closing with me.

2) My walk to the exit usually has me crossing paths with one or more of the students at the Seminary. Some of them have become good friends with me. I will usually talk with them a while, and decline any invitations to join them for tea in their rooms (since it is already after 10pm, and I need to work in the morning).

3) The next stop is security. The guards know me, so I don’t need to stop, but following Egyptian culture, I stop by and say hi. This only takes a couple minutes and consists of asking "How are you?".

4) Since most stores are open at night in Egypt, I often stop to buy groceries or other supplies on the way home from work Monday night. This does not usually take long, and often consists of just stopping by a grocery store for milk and macaroni, and maybe a produce store for grapefruit or bell peppers.

5) My walk takes me past a neighborhood candy store (one of many, since Egyptians love candy). There is a university student I know who works nights at one of the stores I walk past. I will often stop by and talk. He will pull up a chair for me, and offer me tea. We will then talk for about 15 to 20 minutes.

6) The next step is for me to enter the gate at Ramses College, where I live. One of them was a friend of mine, and I helped him practice English. We would sit and talk for about 30 minutes. He was laid off a few weeks ago, but has a job and is doing well. I have gotten to know the other night security guards, and will often talk, drink tea, listen to music, and even play some soccer with them.

7) At this point I am home, but will also spend some time talking with my French friend Jaun, who also lives at Ramses College, or other volunteers who live there.

This experience of meeting and having tea with people takes a lot of time. It is sometimes a tiring experience, but is rewarding in getting to understand what Egyptians think, and also in helping me pass on what they think about the United States, and what they want Americans to know about them.

This month also allowed me to see the first rain of the year. Monday, November 10 was the first rainfall since Spring in Cairo. It was interesting not seeing rain since my brief layover in London at the end of August. Since rain is a rare event, the city is not well designed for it. The storm drains and drainage ditches that are common around Seattle do not exist in Cairo. Rain makes everything dirty. Dust gathers on everything over the summer. When rain comes, it turns the dust to mud. Mud drips from the buildings, and gathers on the streets. It reminds me much of snow in Seattle. For those of you not from Seattle, snow is much like rain in Cairo. It only happens a few times each year, and is typically very short in duration. Sometimes sand trucks will come out and sand the roads for the 1-2 hours where the snow actually sticks to the ground. By the end of the day, it is typically gone, and all that is left is a slushy, sandy mess. That is how rain is in Cairo. It will rain for about 15 minutes, and then all that is left is a sandy slush on the streets.

I was also able to experience the first rain of the year in Minya on December 4. This consisted of two 5 minute showers, where you could almost count the drops on the windshields. This was Minya’s first rain since March. Excited children were out in the rain in the same way we would rush out for the first snow of the year in Seattle. Unfortunately I did not have my camera to get a photo of this event. The fact that there was rain as far south as Minya, means that Cairo got hit hard. They had a rare event where it rained most of the morning, and stayed cloudy all day. Some dirt streets became impassable mud, and some of the paved streets were still flooded three days later.

I have spent the past three months living on an income that would make be equivalent to being an upper middle class Egyptian. In order to try to understand more of how Egyptians live, I have limited my spending beyond that. By mid-November, I have reached the conclusion that "developing country" living was not bad. I could live without a car. The car I drive in the US is about the same quality as the cars most Egyptians drive. In fact, I have been happy to see many Datsun trucks like mine on the Egyptian roads. I could also live without buying a large house, or living in a huge apartment. I visited an unmarried friend of mine who is a pastor in Zagazig (1.5 hours northeast of Cairo by train), and a bachelor apartment in Egypt looks like how I lived in Seattle. I know there are more poor people in Egypt, but in general many people I saw lived lifestyles that I would find very comfortable.

This perspective changed when I visited the village of Farag Allah. It is a small mostly Christian village outside of Minya. There is poverty in the cities, just like in American cities. The scale is much greater in Egypt, and the resources to help are fewer. The difference in Farag Allah, is that this was an entire village in poverty. Most people sleep on the dirt floors of their homes, while the flies cover them. Some homes do not have roofs, and many people were drinking unsafe ground water. I was taken to this village as a request I made of my English students at the Better Life Association for Comprehensive Development. I wanted to see some of their projects. This is a village where there are many development projects taking place. One project is that homes in the village are being connected to the clean water from Minya. It was very difficult to see people sleeping on dirt floors praising God because they now have clean water, when many people with so much, such as myself, often complain with little things in life go wrong. Another project is supply beds to the elderly in the village. I entered a few homes with dirt floors, but the bed were kept completely clean, and were treated with great value, since they were often the most valuable possession in the house. The last project I got to see was a program to give food to the most needy in the village, and to supply money for children in the village to buy school supplies and uniforms, so they can attend school.

The children were the one of the best things for me to see in the village. They were very excited to see a foreign visitor in the village. Many of them followed me around during my entire tour. Even when the village elder was telling them to leave, many kept following me around. I would hear "hello", and then turn around and respond. After that, every child there would yell out "hello", "hello". One student was very excited to show me his English book from school, and to show me what he was studying. I visited the local Evangelical (Presbyterian) church, and got to hear some of the children sing for me, and met with the pastor.

This experience was very valuable for me. It showed me that people with almost nothing, living in deep poverty, still have great faith in God, and are not living with an attitude of despair. If someone living on a dirt floor, covered in flies, can be happy just to have a sink, why can’t we be happy when our cars break down, or someone knocks down our mailboxes? I also realized that I am more desensitized to this problem that I would like to be. I have always seen examples of this poverty on TV, but never in person. I was hurt by my brothers and sisters having to live the way they do, but why am I not more angry? It is also important to see that there are organizations in Egypt, and most countries, that are founded by, and staffed by local people from the country. In the US, most of what I have heard of in terms of NGOs working in developing were American, or international, like the Red Cross, UN, World Vision, Lutheran World Relief, etc. It is good to see and important to know that there are local people who are working to improve the lives of those they live around.

I have also learned a lot about the diversity of the Christian church in Egypt. Most Egyptian Christians I have talked to divide the Christian Church in Egypt into three groups; Coptic Orthodox, Roman Catholic, and Evangelical. The Evangelical church is similar to how the term Protestant church is used in America. Unlike what I first believed, there are many different denominational affiliations that people call Evangelical. I have seen Presbyterian, Baptist, and Charismatic churches in Egypt. I have been able to go to very traditional, liturgical, worship services, and to charismatic services. I have been attending different services at different churches, in order to understand and learn more about the Egyptian churches. Many Christians, especially Coptic Orthodox, see miracles happening in daily life. There are also some Christians who have had extreme views, such as certain clothing, and dying hair, is a sin. I have not yet been to a Coptic Orthodox service, but I hope that my Orthodox friends can help me with that. I also would like to visit some Mosques, but have not yet managed to go with any of my Muslim friends.

It was originally my goal to attend an Egyptian church during my stay in Egypt. I over-optimistically assumed that I would learn Arabic well enough to do this. Unfortunately, reality has shown me that this is not the case. I have been attending Arabic speaking churches, but found that I need to attend an English speaking church since I miss a lot from the Egyptian worship, since I don’t speak Arabic. I have been attending St. Andrew’s Church in Cairo. It has a mixed congregation of both English speaking foreigners, and English speaking Sudanese refugees. The Sudan is a nation that has been in a state of war for many years now. The UN has given refugee status to many Sudanese, and many of them have fled to Egypt. In Egypt the Sudanese do not have any rights. They can not officially work and their children can not attend public schools. Still, this life is better than the horrors many have had to live through back home. Their hope is to be resettled permanently in another country, such as the United States. One of my favorite things about going to St. Andrew's is the tea and fellowship after the service. This has given me an opportunity to talk with and listen to some of the refugees. One of the most important things I have learned is that most of them have a great respect for the United States, but want to make sure that Americans do not forget about the problems in the Sudan, along with the problems in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Many of my friends are about the same age as I am. Just like in the US, many Egyptians in their late 20's and early 30's think about marriage. Families I have met in the middle class in many ways resemble families in the US. The main difference I have seen is the process of how to get there. First of all the term "boyfriend / girlfriend" is used in Egypt, as an English phrase. It is considered a bad word culturally, and has been criticized in at least one sermon I have listened to (with the help of a translator). This at first was a great shock to me. The only alternative I could see was that Egyptian marriages must all be arranged marriages. Unfortunately, there are still many arranged marriages in Egypt, even among educated families, but they are not the norm among people I have met. Since most of my friends are Christian, and almost all of my married friends, my observations are of the Christian minority. Most of the married people I know, especially once married in more recent years, were married willingly (both the husband and wife). They also have known each other for a varying amount of time before getting married.

The term "boyfriend / girlfriend" is commonly known as the idea of a man and woman living together before marriage, and possibly having premarital relations. There are many Americans who also view "boyfriend / girlfriend" this way, but many who do not. Many people I have talked with were surprised when I told them that although many Americans do act the way Egyptians assume when dating, there are many who do not. This message was so shocking to one friend, that he asked if I would consider preaching to his church about the fact that different Americans treat dating differently, and not all of it is like what is shown in American movies. Egyptian censors will not show anything more than a kiss between a man and a woman, but do show them getting into a bed, and Egyptians can tell what is going to happen in the movies.

Even with an Egyptian style of dating, dating is looked down upon culturally, and therefore is rare. What happens instead is that men and women are allowed to socialize in certain environments. Many married people I know, met their husbands and wives at church meetings. As long as men and women are in a large group, socializing between people is often alright. A couple friends of mine knew each other and socialized at their church for a couple years before getting engaged. Engagement the closest thing to dating that is accepted in Egyptian culture. It is at this point that the couple can get to know each other. In the US, and other western cultures, engagement is usually after a couple knows each other well enough that they decide to get married. In Egypt it appears that engagement is more flexible. I have a friend who has been engaged before, but him and his fiancée broke off the engagement when they got to know each other, and found that they were not compatible with each other.

Friendship between men and women is a difficult subject in Egypt. The view varies from the extreme of there is no friendship between men and women, to the view that it is acceptable and normal, as long as it follows some strict social rules. The main rule being that there is no contact or meeting between and unmarried man and woman, unless it is a large organized gathering, such as a church event, or if it is with the family of the woman. There is some flexibility. I have walked a few blocks with unmarried women a few times, but these cases have been to bring me to a family gathering. I have also gone into Cairo with western women, which has not been a problem, either because we are foreigners or people assumed we were brother and sister. Foreigner visitors can do that without any problems, as long as there is no physical contact. To be safe I do not use the word friend generally to describe me with women, unless the woman is another American. This may be over cautious, since an Egyptian woman I have talked to referred to me as a friend, when I had the "am I breaking a cultural rule that gives her father or brother the right to kill me" look on my face, she quickly explained that it is alright, and she introduced me to other male friends. This is seems to be alright at church, but not acceptable in public.

Another example of socially acceptable communication happened when I was seated next to a mechanical engineering professor on the train from Minya to Cairo. He spoke very good English, and has been in the United States to attend engineering conferences. After talking to him for about an hour, he moved and switched seats with his daughter, who graduated from University over a year ago. This situation was alright culturally, since we were under direct supervision from her parents. Normally it is not alright for an unmarried man and woman to socialize on a train.

This has been a long message, and since I will not be able to send this until I return from Minya on Friday night, I will end it now so I can send it before I leave. Upcoming events in Egypt include western Christmas (December 25), New Years, and eastern Christmas (January 7). Western Christmas has been a government holiday as of last year, but is celebrated much by Egyptians. It is a holiday at the Seminary, but not at Better Life, so I will be working that week. That is fine with me since I will be celebrating Christmas fully on January 7. New Years is treated like a Christian holiday, and even vied by many people as a Christian holiday. This is since the Muslim calendar does not start on January 1, and because in 2003 AD, it refers to years after the birth of Christ. I have been invited to celebrate with some friends at an Egyptian church in Cairo, but I have not yet decided on my plans. I wish you all the best for the holidays, and always enjoy hearing from you.

Peace,

Rob